HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots upon the legal legal holiday smorgasboard list knows zero of the Yuletide spirit. In fact, if we see carrots, leave immediately. Go subsequent door, where they’re portion rum balls.
2. Drink as most eggnog as we can. And quickly. It’s rare.. You cannot find it any alternative time of year though now. So splash up! Who cares which it has 10,000 calories in any sip? It’s not as if you’re starting to spin in to an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It’s the treat. Enjoy it. Have the single for me. Have two. It’s after than we think. It’s Christmas!
3. if something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the total indicate of gravy. Gravy does not mount alone. Pour it on. Make the volcano out of your crushed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for crushed potatoes, regularly ask if they’re done with slick divert or total milk. If it’s skim, pass. Why bother? It’s similar to shopping the sports automobile with an involuntary transmission.
5. Do not have the break prior to starting to the celebration in an bid to carry out your eating. The total indicate of starting to the Yuletide celebration is to eat alternative people’s food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no resources should we practice in between right away as good as New Year’s. You can do which in Jan when we have zero else to do. This is the time for prolonged naps, which you’ll need after encircling the smorgasboard list whilst carrying the 10-pound image of food as good as which vat of eggnog.
7. If we come opposite something unequivocally good during the smorgasboard table, similar to frosted Yuletide cookies in the figure as good as distance of Santa, on all sides yourself nearby them as good as do not budge. Have as most as we can prior to apropos the core of attention. They’re similar to the pleasing span of shoes. If we leave them behind, you’re never starting to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have the cut of each. Or if we do not similar to mincemeat, have dual apples as good as the single pumpkin. Always have three. When else do we get to have some-more than the single dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone discuss fruitcake? Granted, it’s installed with the imperative celebratory calories, though equivocate it during all cost. I mean, have the little standards.
10. One last tip: If we do not feel distressing when we leave the celebration or get up from the table, we haven’t been profitable attention. Re-read tips; begin over, though hurry, Jan is only around the corner. Remember this sign to live by:
“Life should NOT be the tour to the grave with the goal of nearing safely in an tasteful as good as good recorded body, though rsther than to movement in sideways, chocolate in the single hand, physique entirely used up, all ragged out as good as screaming “WOO HOO what the ride!”
Have the good legal legal holiday season!!
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
love it ! and the quote is so right! star for you
My plate of food is SO covered with gravy..it looks like soup……
Yummmmm
Not many swetes for me….just lots of taters, dressing and green beans smotherd in gravy..Yummmmm
And turkey on a bun which I dip in the gravvy.Making me hungry!!!
Why only once a year? To keep it special!!